Mit seinem ersten Ballkontakt trifft Chandler zum 3:3-Endstand.
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Mit seinem ersten Ballkontakt trifft Chandler zum 3:3-Endstand.

Ballhorn-Kolumne

Earlier was more Lametta

  • Thomas Stillbauer
    vonThomas Stillbauer
    schließen

In the beginning of ca. 17 english weeks can Onedress Frankfurt not win against Freeburg, not even check their coach Christian Strike over the Haufen. Our column Ballhorn.

What was this then? 500 goal chances and only three goals? So can you in the Bundesliga not withhold. Ballhorn, the only liveticker in the world that appears after the fat lady sung, writes in english language once again but knows also not further. Well, read yourselves.

-35 Minuten: Good evening.

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-31 Minuten: It’s an english week, business friends.

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-30 Minuten: Correction: It’s english weeks.

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-27 Minuten: Correction: It’s many many ghost english weeks.

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-25 Minuten: My ass.

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-22 Minuten: Must I me that on do?

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-20 Minuten: Well. I can not others.

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-17 Minuten: But what is loose with Sky?

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-15 Minuten: Sky shows us the Dortmund-Bayern game with Dortmund and Bayern fans.

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-12 Minuten: And commercials.

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-9 Minuten: Are you spinning?

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-7 Minuten: We want to see the Eintracht-Before-Berichterstatting!

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-5 Minuten: Ah, now. Na endly!

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-4 Minuten: And do you know what? Strike is still standing.

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-3 Minuten: Christian Strike, the coach of Freeburg.

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-2 Minuten: They call him:

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-1 Minute: Standup coachmedian.

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Onwhistle: Thingsbums Petersen (aged 15 or so)

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1.Minute: Onedress-coach Adi changed 17 players in relation to the Bayern game.

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2. Minute: Okay, 5 or 6.

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3. Minute: Rabbit B is defense chief again.

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4. Minute: Also. Let’s make them ready.

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7. Minute: A short look: What makes coach Strike? Still standing.

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9. Minute: Then can nothing crooked go.

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11. Minute: Here comes the famous Ballhorn Quarter Halftime Conclusion (BQHC):

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13. Minute: Earlier was more Lametta.

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15. Minute: Around honest to be:

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17. Minute: We play Freeburg not straight against the wall.

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20. Minute: Sky-Reporter Lindemann plus ghost game:

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22. Minute: There is no better sleeping middle.

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24. Minute: Slogan of the day:

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25. Minute: Sleeping with ghosts.

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27. Minute: (An album by Placebo, if somebody asks.)

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29. Minute: And zero one. Must yes so come.

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31. Minute: Tired. I am so tired.

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33. Minute: Ballhorn has at least fought.

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34. Minute: Ballhorn always said: no ghost games!

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35. Minute: Because we climb surely down with only ghosts in the stadiummmmm … Gooooaaaal!

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37. Minute: Pooooh! One one. Throughbreathing.

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39. Minute: Andrew Silver nicks it in.

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41. Minute: And we have more chances.

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43. Minute: But Bass Dust fell asleep, I’m afraid.

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45. Minute: No wonder, by this empty stadium and the hypnotic comment.

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Halftime break (HTB): Strike ist still standing.

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Still halftime break (SHTB): Ever to.

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46. Minute: Adi brings Hardkohr.

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47. Minute: Torró has fire evening.

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50. Minute: Anybody awake?

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53. Minute: Kamada not.

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54. Minute: Forgives the giant chance.

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55. Minute: Silver forgives the next giant chance.

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56. Minute: Hinti forgives the next giant chance.

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57. Minute: No giant chance in this minute.

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59. Minute: Freeburg brings Petersen for Waldschmidt.

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61. Minute: Moment – Petersen ist he referee, isn’t he?

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63. Minute: Beshit!

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66. Minute: We have something like 500:2 goal shoots for the Onedress. Next thing to come is …

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67. Minute: … exactly: The goal for Freeburg.

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68. Minute: Petersen. Clear. One two.

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69. Minute: And another one bites the ghost. One three.

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76. Minute: But hey. Some of our best games were in the second division.

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79. Minute: Two three. Kamada one more shooting?

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81. Minute: Another short look on coach Strike … still standing. Go ahead.

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82. Minute: Gooooaaal! Timmy Chanceller football god*!

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83. Minute: Three three, as the Mauersegler says.

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85. Minute: Freeburg is searching for someone who can run coach Strike over the Haufen.

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88. Minute: Anybody?

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90. Minute: Not that we shoot the winning hit in the end.

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91. Minute: Hinti hurt.

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93. Minute: It’s the end of the world as we know it.

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Upwhistle: Let me my quiet!

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96. Minute: May not true be.

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99. Minute: Beat we hold the Dieselbeshitters!

Von Thomas Stillbauer

*fr.de ist Teil des bundesweiten Ippen-Digital-Redaktionsnetzwerks.

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